I showed him my bush... on skype.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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