I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
