I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
