all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
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