Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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