Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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