Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Every concussion has its silver lining
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
