i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
