I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
