I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize