i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
