I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
