oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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