Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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