Your tits are I can't wait for
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
