somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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