You smell like a Billy Joel song
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
