Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
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