last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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