I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
