i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
