I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize