There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
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