ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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