She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
