do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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