he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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