PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
