WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
