omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
