Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
