Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
