Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
