That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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