Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
