I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize