i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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