we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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