Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
