I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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