She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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