OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Are we in a gay sports bar?
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Randomize
