I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
