My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
if i can run in heels then i can drive
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
