I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Holy sore nipples Batman
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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