We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
