i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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