i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
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You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
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dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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