the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
