She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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