Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Randomize