So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
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Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
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Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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