I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
