So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize