He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
This toilet bowl is my home.
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