I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
