I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
